Stupid Gaming Tricks (man, it's been a while)

Mal: Hey, according to this dropdown list I could get "Gorilla Gloves!" That sounds way better than these lame-ass green thumbs!

erragal: You don't care what they do, you just want them because they're gorilla gloves?

Mal: I figure worst-case scenario, they're made out of a gorilla's hands. So at least I'll be able to run up to people and be all like, "I'm gonna fuck you up with my GORILLA HANDS!"

Chesh & Mal Reunion Tour 2011

Sorry for the last minute update (we plan as well as ever, don't we?), but we're going to be in Minny from next Friday (12th) to the following Saturday (the 20th).

Reason: it was my Grandmother's 85th birthday in May, and we're renting a cabin in Brainerd for the week.

Get in Friday early afternoon.
Saturday: Birthday party for Grandma on Saturday afternoon/evening (probably getting out ~7-8ish)
Sunday: currently open! Mass-catch up at coffee shop or at someone's house? Play games?
Monday: Drive to Brainerd!
Thursday: Escape from Brainerd, drive down to Blue Earth.
Friday: escape Blue Earth, with an eye toward getting back to the Twitties in the evening.
Saturday: Leave early afternoon.

We'll probably be staying with Drew and Max for the first leg (altho they might be finding out about that RIGHT NOW), dunno about the second leg.

Flight in Friday the 12th at 2 PM, flight out Saturday the 20th at 2 PM (no, we didn't plan that): rides to & fro airport? Pretty please? *blink, blink*

Does anyone with a house have any interest in hosting a party one of those weekend nights to assist us with mass catching up? We were hoping to have more time free to hang out when we figured our dates, but family obligations have turned out to be larger than initially anticipated.

Anyways, look forward to seeing you soon!


The Hook: Ostensibly a remake of Denjin Zaborger (aka Electroid Zaborger 7), really it's just Noboru Iguchi (director of MACHINE GIRL, ROBOGEISHA, and THE ANCIENT DOGOO GIRL, as well as co-director of MUTANT GIRL SQUAD with Yoshihiro Nishimura of TOKYO GORE PLACE fame and Tak Sakaguchi of a ton of awesome things fame) riffing off of tokusatsu in his own fetishistic way for an hour and a half.

The Plus: The drastically reduced amount of gore and complete lack of any implications of sexual violence do, on the one hand, add up to make it feel a lot more like a PG-13 experience than I'm used to from his previous work. On the other hand, it's also the first of his movies that I really feel I could show someone guilt free. I mean honestly, I think anyone I would want to show a movie to would appreciate ROBOGEISHA and 95% of them would at least tolerate MACHINE GIRL. But this one puts it all a bit more out there and really goes straight for the comedy factor while veering all over the place.

The Minus: None, really.

Memory burned into my mind for all eternity: THE LEAGUE OF SMILES. NEW FAVORITE SUPERHERO TEAM.

Rating: Five Rockets Shot Out of Breasts


The Hook: A group of film students follow a suspected bear poacher, in the hopes of getting a scoop for an unspecified film project. As everyone is I'm sure 100% surprised to hear, they get more than they bargained for: he doesn't hunt bears, HE HUNTS TROLLS!

Quickie Review: First off, the shaky cam. This is definitely my favorite faux documentary/shaky cam movie to date, but I think that's really because the ground has already been tread by certified blockbusters THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and CLOVERFIELD. As such, they can minimize how much time they spend making you want to puke or watching a scene so dark that you have no clue what you're looking at. After playing with night vision a bit at the beginning, I think they spend most of the rest of the movie just filming with fairly subtle lighting to achieve reasonably dark shots that still allow you to resolve the action. Also, they don't bother trying to hide the action, allowing you plenty of opportunities to check out the TROLLS (although the darkness of the night scenes is certainly forgiving on the CGI).

The movie is definitely trying to be more action-suspensey than it is horrory, and I definitely liked it more than I would have if they'd gone the other direction. This is at least in part because the movie realizes it's premise is fairly ridiculous and is willing to run a bit tongue in cheek. See, for instance, the scene where a character is forced to explain that a series of sheep mutilations are due to a Russian bear that had wandered across Finland and Sweden into Norway--because they couldn't get a Scandinavian bear corpse on short notice--and then ends up having to further explain that Russian bears keep excess food for the winter stashed under bridges. You know, like squirrels do.

My number one complaint is that for all the pretense that our characters are a group of documentary filmographers, they often seem a bit incurious as to what's really going on. They do certainly ask questions of their subject, but there's a lot of things they don't ask and it really feels that it's just because the filmmakers didn't want to have to come up with an explanation.

Number One Unanswered Question: What is it with trolls and Christians, anyway? My theory is that Christians are trolls' natural predator, so they've evolved the ability to smell them. Makes as much sense as anything else.

Rating: four out of five Fuck Yeahs. Watch the trailer online. If it looks interesting, it's pretty much what it says on the tin. If you're on-demographic, it's definitely worth watching.

Slightly topical

'By "deciphering" the Book of Revelations, a minister in Lochau--in what is now East Germany--proclaimed that the world would end on October 18, 1533. When it didn't happen, the minister--a Michael Stiftel--was given a thrashing by the townspeople.'

--Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts